Creative Commons Licensed Photo by 'Playingwithbrushes'

I remember my first kiss, 6th grade, first “boyfriend.” We agreed to meet in a neighborhood park to exchange Christmas gifts, to the ignorance of our parents, of course. Standing in the snow, he gave me my first awkward and disappointing peck on the lips. The “relationship” didn’t last long after that.

Thankfully, my experience with kissing didn’t end there, and I remember plenty of pleasurable make-outs in high school and college. It was an evolution from pecks to lip sucking to french kissing. But somewhere along the line of relationships I lost the desire to kiss. Well, not kissing in general, rather the passion to really connect through tongue and lips just dissipated somehow.

Turns out my disinterest in smooching may have significantly affected the way my co-kissers viewed our potential in a relationship. We’ve all been there... attracted to someone, only to find later in the heat of the moment suddenly the attraction is inexplicably gone. I’m not talking about bad kissers (though there are plenty of those out there) but rather a feeling of unfulfilled expectation.

In a study by Gordon G. Gallup and his colleagues, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women polled “admitted that there had been times when they were attracted to someone only to find that their interest evaporated after their first kiss. The ‘bad’ kisses had no particular flaws; they simply didn’t feel right.” Many theories offer explanations as to why this may be (think pheromones, etc.), but I’m going with Gallup on this one.

He hypothesizes that people subconsciously use kissing as a way to gauge the potential for mating and commitment. Even in a relationship, men use kissing to determine their chances of getting laid; women let their lips decide whether or not a man is likely to stick around. So if your smooching isn’t quite up to par, it’s something to keep in mind if you intend to continue your relationship.

In retrospect, I think my canoodling deficiency was exactly what I needed. I wasn’t looking to get serious at the time. Habits are hard to break though... When my significant other asked me why I didn’t like to kiss, I realized I had grown accustomed to shallow pecks and needed to remedy the quirk I’d developed.

Just something to keep in mind the next time you lock lips with your sweetheart.

J.J. Blair